Words, Mirror of Heart

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There was a famous poet and politician called Su Dongpo, who befriended with a monk called Foyin. They enjoyed time together and occasionally battled of wits with each other. One day, they sat still practicing meditation. After a while, Su opened his eyes and asked Foyin,

“What do I look like sitting in meditation?”

“You look like a poised Buddha.” Foyin took a look and praised with nodding.

Su was pleased. Foyin asked in reply, “How do you think about me?”

“You look like bullshit.” Su teased Foyin intentionally.

Foyin smiled and put his palms together continuing meditation.

After Su returned home, he told his sister proudly,

“I poked fun at Monk Foyin today.”

After she learned the whole story, she laughed at Su,

“Foyin has Buddha in his mind, so he sees everything as Buddha; you have bullshit in your heart, so you see everything as bullshit. Foyin wins with more cultivation.”

We not only use our eyes watching the world, but also use our heart perceiving it. Our heart colors our view and our view reflects our mindset.

The internationally renowned inspirational author Wayne Dyer ever said, "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

When a person makes judgment about another, it reveals more the speaker’s morality and personality, fair or unfair, biased or open-minded, kind or mean, decent or obscene. Also, from one’s assumptions of others’ life and activities, we can tell that person’s moral standard, inner being, and hidden desires.

Words are mirror of one’s heart.

Friends of Different Kinds

About 2,500 years ago, Confucius ever classified friends into two kinds: helpful and harmful. He also stated that helpful friends include, who are candid and straightforward, who understand and forgive, and who are experienced and knowledgeable. Harmful friends include, who are narrow-minded and short-tempered, who are irresolute and unreliable, and who are sycophants and hypocrites.

Good friends give you constructive advice, encourage you, and still love you though knowing all your shortcomings. They are not always around, but will definitely show up when you need help. They are delighted by your success and happiness; they care about your worries and pains. They push you up.

Bad friends speak guileful words and pretend to like you but may betray you under certain circumstances. During your good days, they would like surround you and flatter you; when you lose your wealth and status, they vanish quickly. They gloat at your loss and misery. They may lack self-discipline or have bad habits, which exert bad influence on you. They drag you down.

One takes the color of one’s company; one receives moral influence by close association. So, we have to be careful of what kind of friends we have and be proactive to choose the right kind and avoid the wrong kind. The famous talk show hostess Oprah Winfrey ever claimed some friends could be toxic and would ruin your life, whom you would rather be alone than hang out with.

Taiwanese writer Yu Guangzhong - I guess he is a leisurely man - ever classified friends into four kinds: classy and interesting, classy and boring, vulgar and funny, vulgar and boring, which sound a categorization of people.

We can choose our friends; meantime, we are chosen by others. We should be good human beings and beneficial friends first to deserve good friendship.

Stories of Zen

Help Yourself

A man was troubled by the hardship of life, so he went to a temple, kneeled down, worshipped a Buddha, and prayed with a string of beads in his hand.

Afterwards, he noticed the Buddha was praying with a string of beads in his hand, too. He was bewildered.

A master in the temple said, “You ask the Buddha for help, but the Buddha has his own trouble, too. He has to help himself first.”

Asking for help is no better than helping yourself first.


Gift


A Zen master met a man on his journey, who disliked the Zen master and tried all his means to insult the master.


Finally, the Zen master turned to the man and asked, “If someone wants to give you a gift, but you refuse to accept it, then who owns the gift?”


The man replied, “It still belongs to that person who intends to give me the gift.”


The Zen master smiled, “Right. Likewise, if I don’t accept your insults, you are insulting yourself.”


A Tea Cup


A student went to visit a Zen master for Zen philosophy. The Zen Master asked the student to sit at a table and he prepared tea for him. The student was very talkative and he told the master he knew a lot of ancient classics.

The master poured tea into the tea cup until it was full; however, he continued to pour tea into the cup. Tea flowed out from the cup to the table, dropped off from the edge and wetted the student’s clothes.


The student watched the master pouring the tea, and shouted, “It is overflowing. Don’t pour again.”


“You are like this cup, full of your own opinions and thoughts.” The master said, “If you don’t empty yourself first, how can I teach you Zen?”


The Light of Comprehension


When studying the Buddhism scripture, a student asked his master, “You described the pure land; I can’t see it, how can I believe it?”


The master led the student to a dark room and said, “There is a hammer at the corner of the room.”


The student opened his eyes wide and then narrowed his eyes; however hard he tried he couldn’t see anything in the deep darkness.


The master lit a candle, for sure, there was a hammer at the corner of the wall.

That you can’t see it doesn’t mean that it does not exist. You have to light the lamp in your heart to vision the pure land.

Build up Your Core Value

It is important that you know your core value and you align your core value with your life. If you don’t know what you believe in and what you can do to make a living, at worst, you may feel like you’re an empty cotton sack – you are unable to stand on your own, you have to be held by somebody; if somebody loosens his/her grip, you will likely slump into a pileup on the ground.

Put rice into the empty cotton sack, the fuller the sack is, and the better it stands independently. Fill yourself with belief, confidence, love, knowledge, skill and other positive elements, and find out your personal passion, your deepest motivator and your strongest trait, stick on them, you can stand in any circumstance and you will not easily be beaten down, even if you were beaten down, you could collect and rebuild yourself in short time. What’s more, your core value can make you build a good relationship, for you have to be independent first, then you can go interdependent.

You have to figure out what you truly believe in and insist on it. Your inner self may make some people like you and make some hate you. Don’t try to please anyone; you may end up losing everyone. Brand yourself, feel ease to be yourself, send out a strong personal message, you will eventually benefit from your persistence.

Discover your personal passion and develop your knowledge and skill to actualize it. You have to make a living first, then you can pursue your dream. I know some people intended to rescue others until they found they were struggling with life themselves, and then they chose to be rescued by God first.

Create your material and spiritual wealth. Without material wealth, you cannot be spiritually free. Without spiritual cultivation, material wealth just provides more chance for you to go lascivious and excessive.

Use five key words to summary up what are important for you and what are your main qualities. Personal values can be beauty, intelligence, health, wealth, discipline, communication, family, love, fun, hard-working, commitment, generosity, courage, knowledge, skill, leadership, passion, persistence, meaning, prestige and more.

Live concordantly with your core value, you can find real happiness and success.

Your Core Value

I ever read this story in several inspirational books:

An instructor held a $20 bill asking the entire class,

“I will give this bill to anyone who wants it. If you want to have it please raise up your hand.”

The entire class raised up their hands. Then, the instructor threw the $20 bill onto the floor and tramped on it several times. He asked again,

“If you still want this bill, please raise your hand.”

The class was silent, and only seven or eight students raised their hands.

The instructor trampled the bill again, making it wrinkled and dirty, then he picked up the bill asking the entire class,

“Who still wants this bill?”

In the back of classroom, two or three students raised their hands.

The instructor said, “You see, how dirty the bill is, how bad I treated it, someone still wants it, because its core value doesn’t change – it’s still worthy of 20 dollars.”

You are much better than that twenty dollar bill. You have treasture in your brain, you have beauty in your heart, and you can be worth millions or billions. Without your permission, no one can diminish you or destroy you.

Your core value determines who you are and how you live a life. Knowing you core value, you can reach the realm of unconditional self acceptance. People can badmouth you, slander you and defame you, and you can encounter drawbacks, failures, financial trouble, or job loss, but all of these will not diminish your core value, you are still you. When you know your core value and your intrinsic worth, you can accept and love yourself at any situation, and you will not be impacted by the other people’s judgment and you are able to live through all kinds of adversities.

You can discover your core value by asking these questions, “What do I truly believe in?” “What’s the most important thing in the life?” “What bring me sense of fulfillment and satisfaction?” “What character and knowledge do I have to fulfill the meaning of life?” Trust your gut feelings and follow your internal call. After answering this questions, you will know your deep longing and desire in life, you will find your calling.

What’s your top core value? Someone may answer “intelligence”, for he can learn anything quick to adapt to the fast pace of technology advancement, and then he can feel useful and powerful. Someone may answer “curiosity”, for curiosity is the starting point of any discovery and invention, which will bring boundless wealth. Someone may answer “integrity”, even the other overpass him by foul play, he still believes that “integrity” is a surefire way leading to the ultimate triumph.

If you don’t live accordantly with your core value, you may feel bored, unhappy, or lack of meaning. After you align your core value with your life, your core value will become your primary drive of your life, guiding you to procure what you want from life, such as love, satisfaction, fulfillment, fame, success, wealth or power.