Monday, December 29, 2008

Found and Lost

In The Gardener 66, the poet Tagore depicted a madman, wearing an iron chain on his waist, was seeking a touchstone able to change iron into gold. The search became his life – he continued picking up pebbles, touching the chain and throwing them away without even looking a change on the chain – until a boy asked, “Where did you come at the golden chain about your waist?”

Thus, the madman realized he already found and lost the touchstone somewhere unknown. When he returned his footsteps to search anew the lost treasure, he could never find it, so he became madder and more distraught.

You feel bad if you never find what you seek. If you found and lost what you desire and you don’t know where you missed it unconsciously, you may feel worse – tormented by regret, self-accusation, and disappointment.

Some situation can be worse – you found the treasure what you crave, you cherished it very much, but at that timing, you were just too weak to keep it, you saw it slip away from your hand consciously, and then it was occupied by someone who was more capable than you just at that special moment. You were tortured by self-accusation, jealousy and indignation.

Sometimes, life is beyond our control and luck plays a critical role in it. In the film “Match Point”, Chris Wilton murdered his love to keep his lucky life, and he said, “I’d rather be lucky than good.” What a cold point!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sparkle of Thoughts

sparkly bits*

If a man has a psychological disorder, he may be called a loony. If a society has developed a chronic psychological disorder, it may be called culture. If you don’t follow this kind of culture in that society, you will be considered unconventional and may be called a loony.

Smart people can change a desert into an oasis, survive and thrive; stupid people can change a luxuriant field into polluted barren land, then die of despair and destituteness. Sometimes, there is no cure to this kind of stupidity. Even death can’t wake them up.

If a person lies the first time, he/she has to invent the second lie to cover the first one, and then invents the third lie to cover the second one until he/she develops into a habitual liar. All the lies will burst out like a balloon at a certain point, and all the shameful pieces will fall onto his/her own face. The best policy is not to lie from the beginning.

Gossips are like fleas: one or two will itch you, but when there are many of them, they don’t irritate you anymore. However, a place, either full of fleas or full of gossips, is definitely low-class.

When men gossip a lot about a woman, they are actually attracted or obsessed by this woman although they don’t want to admit it; when women gossip a lot about a woman, they are jealousy of her and intend to compare with her.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Determined in the Womb

Yesterday I posted an entry “Life is a choice”. I overheard someone said, “Actually, we have little choice about life; ninety percent is already determined in the womb.” 90%? So high?


I did a quick internet research to see what are determined in the womb.


  • BBC news said stroke risk determined in the womb, according to US scientists.
  • Irish scientists claimed handedness determined by 10 weeks in the womb.
  • New York Times make the assertion that weight as adult may be determined in the womb.
  • Philadelphia researchers suggested that food preference may be determined in the womb.
  • Men’s dancing style may be determined in the womb.
  • Researchers in London said male fertility problems may be linked to hormone levels early in pregnancy.
  • Canadian scientists said a man's sexual orientation appears to be determined in the womb.
  • A UK research team stated that even career choice begins in the womb.


Wow! If all these important things are determined in the womb, and our parents make a series of decisions for us before we reach 18, there is little room left for us to make options, so it is important to make good decisions for the small part of life.


When things go wrong or we cannot meet our parents’ expectation, we may have valid reasons to blame our moms. Therefore, to be a good mom starts from very beginning, starts from the womb.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Life is a choice

Life is not unalterable and passive; if we are determined, we have enough power to choose what kind of life we live.


We can choose what we should believe and what we should not believe.


We can choose a goal, then follow it; Even we miss the goal, we are somewhere between our departure point and the goal.


We can choose to give up hope or to keep on going until we break a new ground.


We can choose to have a positive attitude or to be cynics, to be happy or to be unhappy.


We can choose to regret for our whole life for a moment of pleasure, or choose to sacrifice a moment of pleasure for lifelong peace and happiness.


By choosing a career and/or a spouse, we choose what kind of lifestyle we live.


As women, we can choose to cherish our body or abandon ourselves.


A woman doesn’t choose only for herself, she takes responsibility for her child. With good life habits, she can give birth to a healthy baby. With good judgment, she can choose a responsible father and a happy life for her next generation.


As women, we need sense of security. Whichever wealth, fame, achievement, social status, respect, love, family or children can bring us security, we have to choose from our gut feelings, don’t be distracted by others’ opinion.


Life is a series of choice. Any choice comes with alternatives. We have to accept the opportunity cost, don’t regret.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

There is no accident

In the film Kung Fu Panda, the clumsy Po, a noodle peddler, is thrust into sky by firework, and then lands in front of the pointing finger of the tortoise Master Oogway with perfect timing. Oogway claims Po to be the Dragon Warrior. Everyone is surprised, but Oogway says firmly, “There is no accident.”

Po is fanatic with Kung Fu; he has passion and determination; his strong desire and secret dream send him into the public tournament. Even Po’s shortcomings are his strong points - his clumsiness can disarm any fighter, and he is brand new and not stereotyped, so no one knows how to deal him. Although berated and humiliated by the Furious Five – Tigress, Monkey , Mantis, Viper, and Crane, Po has learned the highest philosophy of Kung Fu and eventually defeats the evil Tai Lung.

Sometimes people can be deluded by the surface phenomenon. When bad thing happens to a seemingly honest and generous person, they think his honesty brings him bad luck, but they don’t know he may have destructive vices, which are real cause. When a seemingly low person is blessed, they think the cause-effect law is wrong, but they don’t know he may possess grand hidden virtues, which are pleasing to the heaven and earth.

There is no accident. Everything happens with a reason. We create our own fate; we harvest we sow. Something goes around, will come around. Everything that comes to our life is attracting into our life by our own thoughts and behaviors. We are not passive to our environment, either. How we react to a situation will bring about different results. Don’t complain, life never wrongs you.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Psychological Sunshine

In very northern countries which have little sunlight in the winter months, people may get winter depression. The sufferers feel gloomy and become listless. They can benefit from bright light therapy.

Sunshine can put you in good mood. Do you know you need psychological sunshine, too? A reassuring book, an encouraging friend and a supporting family, all can cheer you up. Surround yourself with positive people, you will become happier and smarter, you can work more efficiently and feel more fulfilled.
When all the world doubt about you, someone stands at your side, holds your hand and tells you that you are the best. When your heart is overcast, someone breathes the clouds away and breathes confidence in you. Lucky you, you find your sunshine.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

You can't argue with...

You can’t argue with God, God only takes prayers.


You can’t argue with time, time waits for no man.


You can’t argue with success, success needs no explanation.


You can’t argue with facts, if you do people will doubt about your intelligence.


You can’t argue with silence, arguing needs two sides.


You can’t argue with a sick mind. Don’t waste your time to argue with a sick mind. The bystanders will think you are sick, too.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sunshine and Shadow

Where there is sunshine, there is shadow.
Where there is beauty, there is ugliness.
Where there is virtue, there is vice.
Where there is humanity, there is meanness.
The world is imperfect. However, because there exist shadow, ugliness, vice and meanness, we can appreciate sunshine, beauty, virtue and humanity better.

It is arranged by God. As Benjamin Franklin ever said, “God will certainly reward virtue and punish vice, either here or hereafter.”