In The Gardener 66, the poet Tagore depicted a madman, wearing an iron chain on his waist, was seeking a touchstone able to change iron into gold. The search became his life – he continued picking up pebbles, touching the chain and throwing them away without even looking a change on the chain – until a boy asked, “Where did you come at the golden chain about your waist?”
Thus, the madman realized he already found and lost the touchstone somewhere unknown. When he returned his footsteps to search anew the lost treasure, he could never find it, so he became madder and more distraught.
You feel bad if you never find what you seek. If you found and lost what you desire and you don’t know where you missed it unconsciously, you may feel worse – tormented by regret, self-accusation, and disappointment.
Some situation can be worse – you found the treasure what you crave, you cherished it very much, but at that timing, you were just too weak to keep it, you saw it slip away from your hand consciously, and then it was occupied by someone who was more capable than you just at that special moment. You were tortured by self-accusation, jealousy and indignation.
Sometimes, life is beyond our control and luck plays a critical role in it. In the film “Match Point”, Chris Wilton murdered his love to keep his lucky life, and he said, “I’d rather be lucky than good.” What a cold point!